


Life's Little Rules

by winnerstick



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-09
Updated: 2012-09-11
Packaged: 2017-11-13 21:58:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 7,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winnerstick/pseuds/winnerstick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of pieces too short to post on their own. Various pairings, various situations, some in canon, some au.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dirty, Unfair, and Cruel

**Author's Note:**

> Akuroku. The sad thing about the whole situation was that Roxas loved living.

The sad thing about the whole situation was that Roxas loved living.  
  
He had dreams and goals. He wanted to see the world. He looked to the future and how things would be, while also finding a way to enjoy the present. Roxas was never in a hurry to get to a destination, he just enjoyed the ride. Every day he woke with a smile, and every night he fell asleep with that same life. For him, life was enjoyable. Life was something to cherish. So he cherished life with every bit of his being.  
  
He didn’t know that his plans would never come to be. He didn’t know that his life would be cut short too soon.  
  
If it had been any other day, he would have been fine. If he hadn’t been there, if he had left only a minute later, he would have been okay. But the fact was, he was there at that exact moment. He had never seen it coming. He died without even knowing who had killed him.  
  
Axel wasn’t like that. He didn’t look at the world and see the positive. He only saw things as they were. Dirty, unfair, and cruel. His plans were only to make it to the next day. Until he met Roxas. He wanted to plan with Roxas. He wanted to see the world with him. He wanted to get better for the light of his life.  
  
But he was never given that chance. Because Roxas was taken away from him.  
  
And that was dirty, and unfair, and cruel. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel and Roxas, baking.

“That’s not how you do it.”  
  
Roxas looked up at the redheaded man with a glare. “And how would you know?”  
  
“Because I’ve done this before. Here, let me take over.”  
  
“No!”  
  
This was something Roxas was going to do, damn it. How could he mess up cookies? He was only following the recipe! Yet Axel had been standing over him (literally, he was a pretty tall guy) the entire time, making comments about everything. It got to the point where Roxas fucked up the first batch by pouring  _way_  too much vanilla extract in. So he had to start over. And, doggone it, he was going to do it himself!  
  
So Roxas pushed Axel away. “I can crack some eggs on my own!”  
  
“Yeah, but if you do it that way again, you’ll get the shell in the batter again, and have to spend another twenty minutes picking it all out. Again.”  
  
“Why can’t you just let me do this by myself?”  
  
Axel shrugged and took hold of Roxas’s hand. Roxas started to pull away, but once he saw the look on Axel’s face, one full of sincerity, he allowed Axel to guide his hand. Axel moved Roxas’s fingers and helped him crack the egg on the edge of the bowl.  
  
“Why are you good at everything?” Roxas asked, frustrated that none of the shell had gotten in this time. Damn him.  
  
“I’m not. I’ve just cracked an egg before.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel wasn't sure when things had changed between him and Roxas.

Axel wasn’t sure when their movie nights became more frequent and started to end in sleepovers. Roxas would just show up unannounced with a handful of movies and maybe a few snacks. He wouldn’t turn the boy away, of course, because somehow Axel knew when to expect him. He could tell with an almost eerie accuracy when exactly the younger boy was going to show up. And he was always around for that. Always.

  
So they watched movies and sat close and enjoyed each others’ company. And Roxas almost always fell asleep on the couch, so Axel just stayed with him. Stayed with him and slept right there, even though he sometimes woke up with backaches. It was worth it. There was something relaxing about sleeping with Roxas, even if it was completely innocent. To make up for the backaches, though, Axel almost always got a warm breakfast.  
  
—  
  
Axel wasn’t sure when he had stopped sleeping around. he hadn’t ever really been anyone’s definition of a slut, but he definitely had experience in the field. Usually on Friday nights he picked up a lucky girl and went home with her, only to leave long before she woke up. It was mean of him, he knew that. But he couldn’t help it. It was so had to stay and do the awkward shuffle in the morning, especially when he knew that he didn’t want a relationship. Instead of dealing with all of that, he left.  
  
But at some point, he had stopped that. Nights when he would usually go out changed into nights in with his best friends. Movie nights or game nights or just hang-out-and-talk nights. Those were the nights when he would bare his soul to Roxas, and Roxas would do the same for him. They could talk about everything that was on their minds at that current moment. Or they would talk about nothing in particular. Things had a strange way of working out. Each of them knew when the other just needed a night to talk about nothing of importance, and they also knew when the other one needed to get something off their chest. He didn’t expect to prefer this time over going out and getting laid.  
  
—  
  
Axel wasn’t sure when his view of relationships changed.  
  
Maybe it was when Roxas poured out to him the details of his last boyfriend. The one who had been so kind to him at first, then left him in the dust once someone better came along. They had been together almost a year and friends even longer. They had grown up together. And while the boy had always been an asshole, for lack of a better term, to everyone else, he was nice to Roxas. They had fun together. And Roxas had liked kissing him. But once a new kid came into town, one that was so much more “interesting” than Roxas, he was dropped flat on his face. Despite that, Roxas loved relationships. He wanted one. He thought it was magical to wake up next to someone and know that they were yours and yours alone.  
  
Maybe it was when he started to notice that everywhere they went, they were holding hands. They could be simply walking down the street together and Axel would feel the warmth of another hand. That was something he hadn’t felt in a very, very long time. Not since his last girlfriend. And that had been different. Girls had different hands. Smooth, sharp nails with soft, over-moisturized skin. Roxas’s hands were calloused and his nails were cut short from biting them. His hand was small and was practically swallowed up by Axel’s much larger hold. But they fit. Their hands fit perfectly, palm to palm. Roxas’s fingers threaded easily through Axel’s. It hadn’t once felt awkward or uncomfortable. It just felt right.  
  
Maybe it was when it finally all became too much for Roxas. When Roxas had shown up with a forlorn look and despite the fact that Axel did have plans that night, he ushered the boy in with kind words and soft touches. He disregarded the blonde boy’s apologies and insistence that he followed through on his plans. Instead he just pulled Roxas to the couch and held him until finally the whole story came out. About how his own father had told him he wasn’t welcome to come over the holidays. About how his mother wouldn’t look at him. His brother was the only one left, but even he wasn’t much help. His brother was too insistent that Roxas come where he clearly wasn’t welcome. His brother cared, but it wasn’t enough. Roxas was a stranger in his own house, and he wasn’t even sure what had gone wrong. That was the first time Axel ever saw the boy cry. But Axel didn’t mind. The way Roxas was telling the story didn’t come off as whiny; Axel could tell that Roxas had kept everything bottled up too long and now it was finally tumbling out. Axel wouldn’t help but feel a strange pride that it was to him. But he didn’t say anything about how angry the awful people in Roxas’s life treated him. He didn’t say anything about how sad he was that his sweet, pure, and innocent Roxas was hurt. He didn’t say anything of his pride for being Roxas’s confidant. He only held the boy until he couldn’t cry anymore.  
  
Or maybe it was the first time they had sex. When Roxas showed up, unannounced, and, before Axel had gotten a word in, had a hand on either side of his face, pulling Axel down as he stood up on his toes. Their lips crashed together and Axel’s hands flew on their own accord to Roxas’s hips as his back arched back to reach the boy. He hoped he had the door closed by the time he had started to pull at Roxas’s clothing, but he wasn’t completely sure. It wasn’t his first time, but he had never felt anything like that. All he cared about at that moment was Roxas’s hands, Roxas’s lips, the lack of Roxas’s clothes. They had done this before, with other people, but this felt new. They breathed in each other and it was so much more than sex had ever been for either of them. They were truly baring their souls for one another. This was Roxas, and this was Axel, but as time went on, the lines became less distinct. They were Axel and they were Roxas and they were Axel and Roxas. And they loved each other. And maybe it was just lust in that moment, but it sure didn’t feel like any other kind of lust Axel had ever felt before.  
  
—  
  
Axel wasn’t sure when it became more than just friends. He wasn’t sure when he fell in love with the boy. But the thing was, he had. He had fallen for his hair, his eyes, his body. He had fallen in love with his strong will and his pout. He wouldn’t call himself a slave to the younger boy, but whatever Axel was, he had to admit it was akin to that. He had fallen hopelessly in love with his best friend and he didn’t regret a single second of it. Things were supposed to happen this way. He just knew it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel/Roxas, resume writing. Prompt from a friend.

“How are you good at everything?” Roxas finally said, his voice taking on a frustrated, i-am-so-done-with-this tone.   
  
Axel looked up from his cereal at the boy still slaving away over his resume and quirked an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” he asked, taking another large bite of his Lucky Charms.  
  
“How are you already done with this? I started way before you!”  
  
Axel shrugged, bemused at Roxas’s irritation. Roxas stood up, quickly enough that he knocked the chair over, and stormed out of the room. Axel let out a soft sigh and stood up a bit to look at what Roxas was working on. His resume wasn’t even halfway finished. Actually, he hadn’t really gotten anything down. Axel had a hard time holding back his snigger. If Roxas heard that, he would  _not_  be pleased.  
  
With a sigh, Axel stood up from his table and followed after Roxas. Roxas was too busy fuming that he didn’t even notice Axel come up behind him, that is, until he pulled back his foot to kick their bed and instead of meeting dead air, connected with Axel’s leg.  
  
“Ow! Shit, Roxas. What’d the bed ever do to you if that was your _build up_  to the kick?” Axel said, wrapping his long fingers around the bruise and making more of a show of it than was probably necessary. “It’s not such a big deal.”  
  
“How are you so good at everything?” Roxas snapped, looking only momentarily concerned that he just kicked his boyfriend. “It’s not fair! You get everything right the first time and I have to try for it all and I still fail at everything and that’s not fucking fair. How did you get that done so fast?!”  
  
Axel shrugged. “I”m just good at this kind of stuff, Rox. And you know that’s not true. You don’t fail at everything. You’re better than me in a lot of things. Just not in resume writing. You care too much. Mine is a piece of shit. Think I care? Not really. It’ll get me well enough. Just… don’t worry about it. ‘Kay? I can help you.”  
  
Roxas crossed his arms and turned his back to Axel, his face never losing that sour look.  
  
Axel sighed and wrapped his arms around Roxas’s waist. “You’re just frustrated. It’s not your thing. There are other things you’re good at.” Roxas huffed. “You’re a great conversationalist, when you want to be. Hell, you probably don’t need a resume. You’ll just charm your way into a job. You’ll do just fine, sweetheart. Promise.”  
  
“How come you’re always better at everything than me?”  
  
Axel shrugged. “More experience? I kind of have a hundred different kinds of advantages over you in this area. But you’ll get there. Promise.”  
  
Roxas stayed quiet for a long time, then his body finally relaxed. “Your Lucky Charms are going to be soggy.” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel/Roxas. Sometimes Roxas didn't get what he wanted out of his relationship with Axel.

Sometimes his chest just filled so full of want that he didn’t know what to do with himself.  
  
It was in those moments that Roxas showed up, completely out of the blue, at Axel’s house. It was in those moments that Roxas had pushed his way inside and was fingering the buttons on Axel’s shirt as soon as the other male had opened the door. It was in those moments that he allowed himself to be pushed against the wall and kissed harshly enough that his lips bruised. It was in those moments that he just didn’t care.  
  
Afterward, he always hated himself. Not for the act, of course not. He loved how it felt when Axel was inside him. He loved how it felt when his body was so hot he thought he was on fire. He loved how it felt when Axel’s lips and tongue only added to that fire, the wetness sending a hot trail of flames down his chest. Those were moments he would never want to take back.  
  
It was the fact that afterward, things had to go back to how they were. Axel would pick things up with whoever else he was fucking that week, and Roxas would go back to being the best friend  _and_ the fuck buddy.  
  
That was just how it was. Sure, Axel loved him, but not in the same way that Roxas loved Axel. And that hurt. It hurt that Axel was Roxas’s one and only, when Roxas was Axel’s one of many. It hurt that he couldn’t do anything about it.  
  
He had tried. He had finally gotten up the courage to speak to the older male about their predicament, but his affections were shot down.  
  
“Why ruin a good thing, Rox? Getting serious would only complicate things. Why complicate it?”  
  
But Axel didn’t realize that things were already complicated. That a few words and insistent requests that it remain simplistic didn’t actually keep it that way. Roxas had already fallen hard for Axel. It was too late to take that back.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demyx/Zexion. They were so different, and yet, it worked.

Maybe the beautiful thing was that they were so different.  
  
Zexion wasn’t shy, he was  _antisocial_. He preferred to spend his days cooped up in his room, reading a book. He was your typical introvert, but he could handle himself with people. The thing was, he just didn’t want to. He had a superiority complex that was hard to rise above, even for those that felt drawn to those types of people. He was manipulative and could be cruel when he wanted to be. But he had a soft spot for literature. He had become so well-read in his lifetime that he could spin his own metaphors and similes like it was nobody’s business. Truth was, though, Zexion wasn’t a writer. He didn’t want to  _create_ , he wanted to  _learn_.  
  
Demyx was his polar opposite. All Demyx ever wanted to do was create. When he was playing his Sitar and absent-mindedly writing lyrics to go with whatever tune he created, he felt at home. Learning was not one of his strong-suits. It wasn’t that he could do it, it was that he didn’t want to waste time or effort on it. He was more one for instant-gratification. Sitting down and reading a book to gain knowledge simply didn’t have the speed he wanted. The efficiency, maybe, but he could leave that to Zexion.  
  
They bickered constantly; about everything. About missions and Demyx’s constant sitar playing and Zexion’s refusal to put down a book once in a while and just live. About how Zexion took a perverse pleasure in being unnecessarily impossible with Demyx’s friends and Demyx’s insistence that Zexion partake in social situations that he neither wanted to nor had any business being involved in. About how loud was too loud and how quiet was unsettling and how best to cook meat.  
  
But at the end of the day, they balanced each other out.  
  
Demyx forced Zexion into new experiences that he ended up loving; Demyx developed a new-found fondness for fiction. Demyx found muse for his creation and Zexion found an outlet for the pent-up thoughts just itching to break free. They were opposites and they were perfectly balanced. They brought out the best and the worst in each other.  
  
And really, that was all they could ever ask for. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel/Roxas. Three whole words and eight letters late.

“I love you.”  
  
He said it so surely; without any hesitation. It was such a foreign phrase that it made you stop and stare at him for a moment, just to see if you had imagined it. The thing was, you hadn’t. Those three words had really tumbled out of the blonde’s mouth. And now he was looking up at you with those big beautiful eyes and you can’t help but feel something ache in your chest. It was probably the emptiness aching and making your throat close up. After all, it definitely wasn’t your heart. That had been left behind years ago.  
  
“No, you don’t.”  
  
Those lovely blue eyes look hurt. His beautiful lips pull down into a frown and you just want to take it back. You want to tell him “No, no, I take it back. I don’t doubt you.” But that would be a lie. Not that lying was hard to do. Actually, you do it all the time, even to the beautiful boy before you. Lying about this, though, seems wrong. For once, you can’t come up with something to say to ease his troubles that would sit right in your stomach.  
  
“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.”  
  
Maybe he thinks he’s telling the truth, but you know he’s wrong. No matter how sincere the words are meant, they’re still lies. Love is not something you were capable of feeling. That was the sort of thing that someone needed a heart for, and last time you checked, neither you nor Roxas possessed one. Maybe Roxas wanted to love you, but he couldn’t. Not like someone with a heart could. Any kind of love the blonde could offer would be a phony half-love. Could you handle that? No, you probably couldn’t.  
  
“You don’t even know what love means, Roxas.”  
  
The words came out harsher than you had initially intended, but still you made no motion to amend this statement. If you thought he looked hurt before, that was nothing compared to how the boy looked now. His mouth was open to protest, but no sound was coming out. It took him three times to awkwardly open, close, and reopen his mouth before any sound actually made its way out.  
  
“I do, though.”  
  
“No, you don’t. You don’t have a heart, so you can’t.”  
  
“But I do!”  
  
You weren’t expecting the sudden passion in his voice. Your eyes had drifted away and to the wall just past Roxas’s head, but now they snapped back to attention. His eyes were narrowed and his mouth was open slightly. His hands were balled into fists at his sides and he looked so frustrated.   
  
“It doesn’t matter that I don’t have a heart. It doesn’t matter that  _you_  think that we can’t be in love. We are, Axel. I love you, and I know you love me. Who needs a heart for that? It’s… instinctual! You make me feel special in ways no one else does. You make me  _feel_ all these things, and I know I make you feel the same.”  
  
He didn’t know what he was talking about. He couldn’t. He didn’t have the memories or the heart to know what any of this felt like. All Roxas was doing was saying what he felt was right and hoping for the best. But this… whatever it was, it wasn’t love. It couldn’t be. You would know if you were in love with him. It didn’t matter that this seemed a lot like love, because you couldn’t  _feel_.   
  
“You’re wrong.”  
  
And then you walk out of the room. You slam the door. You leave that beautiful boy alone and pretend you didn’t see the heartbreak etched across his face. Because he wasn’t heartbroken; not really.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel/Roxas. When they met, Axel was standing at the edge of his life.

When they met, Axel was standing at the edge of his life.

  
Not metaphorically, either. Well, yes, metaphorically. But also literally. He was standing on the thick brick railing of a bridge, staring over the edge into the dark waters below him. One long arm was wrapped around a thick pillar as he leaned out to an almost dangerous degree.  
  
 _This is it_ , he thought.  _Now or never. Moment of truth. Can I really do it?_  
  
His question was never answered, though. Because right as he was about to let go, he heard a voice behind him.  
  
“Is the view nice?”  
  
Axel turned around, eyeing the blonde boy suspiciously. Was the view nice? There was nothing to see. The area where Axel was standing was almost completely dark, aside from the small light emitting a dull glow on the bridge. But on the water? Hardly anything. Just a few distorted reflections of the lights from houses, the streets, and the cars. Not enough light to see, even to Axel, whose eyes had adjusted by now.  
  
Before he could answer, the boy lifted himself up next to Axel and held out a hand. Axel didn’t take it. Instead, he just stared at it until the boy thrust it forward a little more.  
  
“I don’t have a pillar to hold on to. Will you keep me from falling? It’d be an awfully long drop, and I can’t imagine that water would feel too good, especially not at this time of night,” the boy said, smiling at Axel in such an innocent way.  
  
Axel hadn’t thought about it that way. It would have been cold, wouldn’t it? And falling from this height…. that would hurt. It would feel far worse than a belly flop off the divingboard. So Axel reached out his hand, now clammy from the anxiety, and grasped the boy’s much warmer extremity. They stood there, gazing out at the water, without speaking for a long time before the boy broke the silence again.  
  
“I’m Roxas, by the way,” he said. Axel turned his head to look at the much shorter boy, but Roxas wasn’t looking at him. His eyes were still cast out at the water, though his lips were pulled up into a small smile; small enough that Axel almost didn’t notice it.  
  
“Axel.”  
  
“Nice to meet you, Axel,” Roxas said, finally turning and grinning at him. “But don’t you think it’s time to go home? It’s cold out. I kind of just want to go sit at home under a blanket, watch a movie, and eat some junk food. What about you?”  
  
Axel nodded and watched as Roxas stepped down off the edge, back on to completely safe, completely solid ground. But Roxas never let go. He didn’t give Axel the chance to go back. Instead, he just turned around and looked expectantly toward Axel.  
  
“You can come with me.”  
  
That was all it took. Axel got down, planted his feet firmly on the ground, and went with the stranger. Stupid? Yes. But it ended up being the best decision of his life. It was the decision that saved his life.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel/Roxas. Axel thought he would give Roxas a blowjob instead of a good morning. He hadn't been expecting a reaction quite like this.

Axel had  _tried_ to do something nice for Roxas. He had tried to wake him up in a different way, give him a good morning surprise. That way the blonde could start his day off right. He thought “Oh, give him a blowjob to wake him up. That’s supposed to be sexy. That’ll put him in a good mood.” Because, really, who didn’t like morning sex? Who didn’t want to start off their day with an orgasm? It was a great idea, in theory.  
  
What he didn’t account for was Roxas being jumpy when he first woke up. He seemed to have forgotten that doing anything to surprise Roxas when he first woke up was not a good idea. He had once scared the boy while he was walking down the hallway, half asleep. He ended up halfway down the opposite end with a new bruise, courtesy of Roxas’s keyblade.  
  
He should have seen it coming. He should have known that Roxas would panic at a strange sensation from down below when he was first waking up. He should have, but he didn’t.  
  
He didn’t expect to start off his day with a bloodied nose and a bruised rib. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel/Roxas. When Axel forgets their date, Roxas isn't too keen on just forgiving him.

“Come on, Roxas.”  
  
“No! Fuck off, Axel!” Roxas called back through the door.  
  
Axel sighed, leaning against the doorway and knocking harder. He knew this probably looked ridiculous, them arguing through the doorway, but he didn’t really care right now. Roxas had every right to be mad, but Axel didn’t think he really deserved this. It wasn’t like he  _meant_  to do it.   
  
“It was an accident, Rox. I meant to be there.”  
  
“It doesn’t matter if you meant to be there! You  _weren’t_ there!”  
  
He had a point. But it wasn’t like he did it on purpose. He had tried his hardest to be there, but a mission had taken far longer than it should have and then he had gotten held up by Saix chewing his ass out about.. something. Honestly, he hadn’t even been listening. He was just trying to get out of it so he could go meet Roxas.  
  
“I know, sweetheart. But I was trying to come. Everything was just getting in my way.”  
  
“Oh, yeah? Like what, Axel? What held you up? I waited for an  _hour_. What could have possibly taken so long?”   
  
He should’ve done something to let Roxas know. The thought of Roxas sitting alone in a fucking restaurant was simply heartbreaking. He waited an hour? An hour of being alone waiting for someone to show up. Someone that never actually did. An hour of convincing himself that Axel would be there soon, that he didn’t need to order yet, because soon Axel would be joining him and he wouldn’t want his food to get cold as he waited for Axel’s meal to come. The redhead could picture it, not that he wanted to. It was a pitiful image.  
  
“The mission ran long and then Saix was chewing my ass out about something. I tried to get there, but nothing was going my way.”  
  
“Bullshit!” Roxas exclaimed, opening the door enough that Axel could see Roxas’s angry face. He was more than just angry, though. He was hurt. He was hurt and upset that he had been stood up and angry that the very person that had stood him up was standing before him. Axel couldn’t blame him. “Don’t lie to me, Axel. I”m sick of being lied to by you! You just want to cover it up so that you don’t hurt me or something, like always. But you did hurt me. You left me there for an hour and then even if I had stayed longer, you never would have showed up. You forgot and now you’re trying to redeem yourself. But fuck you. Fuck you. I don’t want to hear it. Just  _leave me alone_!”  
  
And then he slammed the door. He slammed the door right in Axel’s face and Axel knew that it was the end of that conversation. Instead of leaving, though, he just turned around and slid down to the floor, sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall. He didn’t even react to Larxene walking past and sniggering at the redhead accompanied by an acidic “Trouble in paradise?” Any other time, and Axel would’ve had to fight himself not to clock her for such a stupid comment, but this time he couldn’t even manage that.  
  
Because this time? He hadn’t even been lying. He wanted to be there. And it was the one time that Roxas didn’t believe him. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel/Roxas. Men are never ready to be fathers. Not usually, anyway.

In most cases, men are never ready to be fathers.

Sure, they may love kids. They may want kids of their own someday. But someday will never come, because they will never think they’re good enough. They will never truly believe that they are ready for a little life to become their responsibility. Because what man wants to give up his freedom? What man wants to trade a life of bars, clubs, and partying for a life of diapers, crying, and doting? Sure, there are always the few exceptions to the rule, but for the most part, men don’t want children. Men don’t plan for children. They will put it off as long as they have to. They need the push.

But as he stared down at this beautiful baby, Roxas couldn’t come up with a single reason why they had waited so long. He couldn’t fathom not being everything for another human being. He wasn’t everything for Axel, because Axel had friends and could take care of himself. Roxas was important to the redhead, but not like he was important to this baby. It was different. This small creature’s life depended on Roxas.

That was heavy. So heavy, that for a while, he couldn’t bring himself to make the push. But he had. Maybe it was the fact that all of his friends were starting to have babies. For them, it could be an accident. It could be something completely unplanned; an unintentional miracle. For him and Axel, it had to be thought through and planned and instigated. Neither Roxas nor Axel had the ability to have children. He had never been envious of a woman for that quality, but when it came time to planning and preparation for a family, he found himself turning green around the ears.

It wasn’t even that he wanted to carry a baby. He didn’t want to have to have a baby in his non-existant uterus for ten months and then go through the whole birthing process. He didn’t even care if the baby was biologically his and Axel’s. That wasn’t something he lost sleep over. What he lost sleep over was the what ifs rolling around in his head. What if he wasn’t a good dad? What if he messed something up? What if he couldn’t handle it?

In a heterosexual relationship, it can be an accident. Which sounds bad, but sometimes he wished that he could have an “oops baby”, because then both he and Axel would get the push they needed. They would have started a family sooner. All doubts would be put on the backburner in favor of taking care of their child and taking parenthood as it came. In this relationship, their baby had been the product of months of agonizing and going back and forth and changing their mind. But it was worth it in the end.

Because, in the end, he was ready. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demyx/Zexion. Usually, Zexion liked how Demyx talked.

In most cases, Zexion liked how Demyx talked; he liked the way his mouth formed the words and the way his voice made them sound. As a lover of words, he did have a preference for certain pronunciations and a particular cadence to the syllables, and Demyx did have a knack for making even the most complicated of words roll off the tongue. But sometimes, Zexion just needed a little piece and quiet.  
  
He learned early on in his relationship that the best way to made Demyx calm down and stay still was to read to him. They would sit wrapped up in each other while Zexion read a book. At first, he discovered it on a fluke. Demyx was asking questions every few seconds about what Zexion was reading, until finally he just started reading aloud. Even now, months later, it’s found a way into their evening tradition. For at least half an hour, they would sit down and Zexion would read aloud to the blonde while Demyx traced patterns into Zexion’s arm.  
  
It took a long time, though, for the darker haired male to realize that he wasn’t just aimlessly tracing. After a while, he realized that Demyx was tracing words. It took a lot of practice to be able to pay attention to both the words on the page and deciphering the words on his arm.  
  
Zexion almost choked when he first recognized the three word phrase. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sora/Riku. Finally, Riku makes the decision to keep Sora with him.

They had been so careful. Or, rather, Riku had been careful. Riku had been so cautious whenever he and Sora were together. He spent long moments agonizing over how he would respond to situations with the brunette when they were  _just_ friends. Would he touch Sora? Had they ever been comfortable with touching? Was that something they had ever done? How hard should he laugh? How close is too close? Every single thing was questioned.  
  
Sora, though, Sora wanted to scream it from the rooftops. He wanted everyone to know that Riku was his and his alone. He didn’t understand why his boyfriend would want to keep any of this under wraps. Was he ashamed? No, Riku has assured him on multiple occasions that shame wasn’t at all a factor in this decision. Was he embarrassed? “Embarrassed to be with you?” he had said. “Don’t be ridiculous.”  
  
They fought about it. Long, drawn out fights that would end up with Riku on the couch and Sora sleeping in that big lonely bed all by himself. Riku could never articulate why he didn’t want to tell people about them. Sora could never get over his fear that he just wanted an easy out in case something went wrong. So things got harder and they got more and more distant, both for fear of getting hurt or hurting the other.  
  
When Riku finally,  _finally_ , gave into Sora, it was at Kairi’s beach party. All of their friends were there and Sora had been all over Riku all night. This led to a fight almost loud enough to draw attention and a particularly hurt and angry Sora stomping off to leave the island and just go home. That was when Riku realized how ridiculous he was being. He was going to lose his best friend and quite possibly the love of his life to a situation he couldn’t even fully grasp.  
  
Sora hadn’t been expecting a strong grip on his wrist. He hadn’t been expecting that grip to spin him around and pull him into the warm embrace of his boyfriend. He hadn’t expected the kiss, fully luminated beneath a torch and not too far away from their rather large group of friends.  
  
Riku hadn’t been expecting the cheers and calls of  _Finally!_ from the other beach-goers. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sora/Riku/Kairi. How to share a Paopu between three people.

“How do you share a Paopu with three people?”  
  
“They never said how big your share had to be, did they?”  
  
“Well, no, but is that even possible? Does it work the same way?”  
  
“Does it work at  _all_?”  
  
It was Kairi’s idea, sharing the Paopu between them. The three of them had grown up being told the story of the magical Paopu, the fruit that intertwined destinies of those who shared it. But every time, they always mentioned two people. Two people who shared the fruit. What about three? What about when two simply wasn’t enough? What if there was room in a heart for more than one person?  
  
So that was how the idea came about. Riku was skeptical. He was one to always stick to what other people told them. A Paopu was for two people, not three, so it might not work the same way. Honestly, he wasn’t even totally convinced it worked  _at all_. Sora was skeptical, but not nearly so. He believed wholeheartedly in the powers of the star-shaped fruit, but he wasn’t convinced it worked the same way.  
  
But Kairi was insistent, and so the three shared the fruit. Together, just like it always has been. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sora/Roxas. Prompt: Sora and roxas cuddling in bed now <3

Roxas had never been fond of mornings. He didn’t like to be woken up at any point before at least twelve in the afternoon, preferably later. There was something absolutely batshit insane about people that actually enjoyed waking up early. No alarm clock softened the blow, there was no kind way to wake him up. The only good way to wake up was when it was on his terms in his own time, without any outside forces.

  
Despite that, though, there was something magical about waking up. Those first few seconds when he wasn’t quite sure where he was and what he was doing there. The first few seconds of wakefulness where he was trying to grasp at a dream. It was that moment between sleep and wakefulness, and there was something amazing about it.  
  
When he woke to find a body in his arms, that magical moment lasted much longer. It didn’t matter that Sora was still asleep, it felt comforting just knowing that he was there. Knowing that Sora was cuddled up in his arms, trusting him at what Roxas considered to be his most vulnerable time, made him feel important. Like he didn’t have anywhere else to be that was more important. And, really, that was true. Nothing would ever be more important than this moment and moments like these.  
  
Sora let out a soft noise and turned in his sleep, pressing his face into Roxas’s shoulder. Roxas raised a hand to rub softly at the bare skin of his back and hold him closer. No, there was definitely nothing more important than being with Sora at this moment. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel/Roxas. Roxas can't stand Axel.

Roxas can’t stand the way Axel goofs off in class. It drives him crazy how he can never take anything seriously in their English class. Every time he’s called on, he gives a bullshit answer that he knows is completely in left field. He knows that Axel knows because he always gives this little smirk that clearly states “I am too smart for this bullshit” when he’s  _not_. He’s cocky and narcissistic and thinks he’s practically perfect in every way when that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

  
 Roxas can’t stand the way Axel always talks. Seriously, the kid never shuts up. And he constantly repeats himself. If Roxas has to hear the phrase “Got it memorized?” one more time, he swears he will nuke the school. Axel just doesn’t know when it’s time to quit. All throughout class he will sit there and talk to Demyx, without even  _bothering_ to be quiet, and force Roxas to ask their teacher to repeat what she just said. Which she then promptly responds with “Sorry, Roxas, was I interrupting your conversation with my teaching?” when, obviously, he hadn’t even been the one talking.  
  
Roxas can’t stand the way that every single teacher kisses the ground Axel walks on. Axel is in good graces with every single teacher in the school, it seems like, even though he constantly ditches class and gets into trouble. He never does his homework, unless cheating off of Demyx who cheated off of Zexion counts. Somehow he manages to ace every single test, though, which Roxas swears is because he’s cheating off of someone, but no one will nail him for it. Because Axel is perfect in every way.  
  
Roxas can’t stand the way that Axel won’t keep his long legs to himself and off of his fucking chair when Roxas is  _trying_ to copy down the notes. Or the way that he constantly has to tap his pencil when Roxas finally gets him to shut up. Or the way that he’s always teasing Roxas for everything he does and constantly  _touching_  him and getting in his personal space.  
  
But he loves the way that Axel’s fingers trail up his skin, bringing his shirt with it; the way each and every touch feels like fire singing his skin. He loves to hate how the redhead loves to tease him by rubbing small circles at his hips and upper thighs. He loves how Axel kisses him, hot and needy and desperate and in so close together that Roxas can’t tell where one kiss ends and another begins.  
  
Axel has a way of getting under Roxas’s skin and making him want  _more_ , and even then, more is almost never enough. He mouths his skin and nips at places the blonde had never even considered could be sexy, but they make him burn with desire in every kiss and touch and bite.  
  
Roxas can’t stand the way Axel makes the blonde want him.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel/Roxas. Axel wants to understand, but it's hard to understand the nightmares that no one can explain.

Axel wanted to understand.

 

He wanted to understand why nearly every night now, he awoke to a somber looking Roxas dressed in pajamas way too big for him. If the boy’s eyes didn’t look so damn big and sad, he’d mention how ridiculous, and cute, he looked with the long sleeves covering his hands and the pajama pants tripping him when he stepped. Why did Roxas insist on wearing such huge clothes? If he had been able to ask, Roxas would have told him that it was a safety net. The bigger the clothes, the more secure he felt. But Axel was never able to ask, because when Roxas visited him, it wasn’t on happy terms.

 

 

At first, Axel would give the boy a questioning stare and maybe even mutter a “What are you doing here, Roxas?” but after a while, he simply lifted the covers and welcomed the boy in. Roxas would waste no time in curling up against him and Axel would wrap an arm around the smaller boy. Occasionally, Roxas would cry, his sobs racking his body in sharp jolts as he pressed his face into Axel’s skin. Had it been anyone else, Axel would have complained about the tears on his shoulder or chest, but this was Roxas, and he had always handled the boy delicately. Sometimes, the tears never came. Roxas would shake in an unyielding fear that he never verbalized and Axel would rub his back and murmur soothing words into the boy’s ear until his body stilled and his breathing deepened as he drifted off to sleep.

 

 

These nights scared him. During the day, Roxas took everything in stride. No matter how hard Saix worked him or how badly beaten he was by the heartless, he would come to Axel with a smile on his face. Or, if he wasn’t smiling, it took hardly any effort to change that. He didn’t like the Roxas of the night. He didn’t like that something had frightened his beautiful boy enough to drag himself out of bed and down the hall to Axel. He loved that Roxas came to him rather than someone else, like Xion, but he couldn’t quite grasp why Roxas needed him.

 

 

If he asked, no answer came. The only answer Roxas ever gave was I needed you. His voice always sounded so broken that Axel couldn’t press further, and by morning, Roxas had all but forgotten. Once, Axel had asked while they were getting ready for a mission. Only once, because the look that Roxas gave him silenced him into ignorance. He could not, and would not, ask again, no matter how much he wanted to know.

 

 

Roxas didn’t want to tell him. He didn’t want to tell the redhead about the dreams that woke Roxas with a scream. The dreams that forced tears out of his eyes before he was even conscious. They varied from night to night, but one theme was the same: death. Death of Roxas, death of Xion, and, worst of all, death of Axel. He could hardly even call them deaths. Mostly they just disappeared. Night after night he was treated to similar visions of the three of them disappearing, leaving no trace behind. Sometimes the images were of such a clarity that Roxas couldn’t tell the difference between reality and fiction.

 

 

Those were the nights that Roxas made the trek through the castle to Axel. He had to make sure, had to be completely certain that he was still there. That he would never leave. Only when he could feel the heat of the other man and hear his steady breathing was he completely satisfied that it was only a dream. It was only a dream, but it felt like a whole lot more. And Roxas had to hold on tightly to what he had, before it was gone.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel/Roxas. Once is a coincidence, twice is chance, and three times is a pattern. Roxas doesn't like this kind of pattern.

Axel wasn’t expecting to wake up alone. He wasn’t expecting the sheets to be thrown back halfway off his own body and the space beside him to be cold. He had expected to wake up to Roxas curled up practically on top of him with the sheets thrown haphazardly over their naked waists and their legs tangled together. That was how he was used to waking up, ever since Roxas had moved in with him.  
  
But he was utterly alone. Even a shout of “Hello? Roxas?” had no answer. Either Roxas was ignoring him, or he had gone somewhere else. He wasn’t used to that. Roxas never dragged himself out of bed before ten, and it was currently eight a.m. Something about this wasn’t right.  
  
So Axel pulled himself out of bed and started the tread toward the kitchen, only to be met with even more… emptiness. At first glance, nothing was different in their apartment, but as Axel looked closer, he noticed that little thing were gone. The furniture hadn’t been moved, the pictures remained in their place, but Roxas’s books were gone. Roxas’s CDs were gone. Roxas’s movies were gone. Everything that had belonged to the blonde was no longer in its place. That was when Axel started to get worried. His heartbeat quickened as he turned from the front room to the kitchen instead.  
  
On the counter laid a piece of lined paper. It was ripped from the journal that Axel had bought Roxas for the kid’s birthday three months ago. Paper smaller than the typical size with rounded edges and black lines rather than the light blue looseleaf held. Roxas had written in black ink and there were small circles where the paper had been wrinkled and the ink had run, but they weren’t prevalent enough to make the message unclear.  
  
 _Axel._  
  
 _I’m leaving. I’m going to stay with my sister. My train leaves at eight. Don’t try to contact me, don’t try to apologize. I don’t want to hear it. We’re done. I’ve taken all of my things._  
  
 _The first time you did it, I thought I was imagining things. That maybe you were just moaning incoherently and you weren’t trying to say a name at all. The second time, I thought it was just a fluke. But last night was the final straw. I don’t know who Isa is, but it’s definitely not me._  


End file.
